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Jealousy, the Heart-Poison! How did Jesus deal with it?
Jesus called everyone "friend" for he was in no doubt that indeed he was just that. Whether he had a friendship with the person was their decision, and their decision alone. To exist, the friendship was 100% dependent upon the person regarding Jesus as a friend and choosing to also be a friend to him.
Many emotions effectively block the development of a friendship and one of the most destructive of these is the emotion - jealousy. Defined as "the state of being suspicious or fearful of being displaced by a rival " (Oxford dictionary), jealousy is based on fear - the opposite emotion to that conducive to formation of a friendship. In addition it involves a lack of trust and a major error in thinking, totally in contradiction to the reality of the universe, namely that one person can be a rival of another. Rival for what, when each of us is unique, each of us has a preferred plan by God, a plan which no other personality can fulfill?
So what causes jealousy?
It appears to be the illusion aforementioned - that one person can be a rival of another, which in its turn is created by the clinging to a goal in life which is impossible to achieve by oneself. There is a sense of "failure deep within"and rather than to discard the goal, a need develops to blame some person or the environment. Either they are objectified to represent the reason for the jealous individual's failure, or they are the 'rival' , the potential enemy, who wishes to claim what the jealous person sees as their rightful position of honour and glory.
It can be jealousy of:
a) a person's achievements, like the jealousy of another's musical abilities which makes listening to their exquisite music painful and torturing to the poor sick mind of the person who indulges in this "mental poison".
b) a person's personality. And tragically it screams -" I am not good enough by my standards. I should be like you, and I believe I will never be like you, so how dare you be like you. You are not as I see you, you are evil and a sham." And so the jealous person character assassinates.
c) another person showing an interest in someone other than the jealous person. This form is normally restricted to close relationships such as marriage partners. It is borne of deep insecurity and an objectification of the partner as a possession. It reveals another interesting phenomenon - the erroneous belief that love is an exhaustible commodity and there is a limited supply to go around. If it appears another is getting love, consideration and attention, then the poor jealous spouse is convinced that they are having their share depleted.
Where jealousy lies, the ability to extend out in love to others is limited at best.
How did Jesus deal with a jealous individual?
Firstly, Jesus adopted an attitude with everyone, including his own family, of the utmost of respect for the free will of the individual. And this respect for free will caused him much sadness at times with those he loved dearly, such as his mother and Judas.
"...he did not want to bring any undue influence to bear upon his family or others which would lead them to believe in him against their honest convictions. He always refused to take undue or unfair advantage of the human mind. He did not want men to believe in him unless their hearts were responsive to the spiritual realities revealed in his teachings." (1413)
It saddened Jesus that their "honest convictions" might be totally in error, but it was essential to him to respect their free will right to make such errors.
Secondly, with his family (and everyone else):
"Jesus did everything humanly possible, consistent with his dedication to the doing of his Father's will, to retain the confidence and affection of his family." (1539)
And with the jealous individual? The Urantia Book supplies a perfect case study - Judas. Unfortunately this "faith adventure" by Jesus was not responded to by Judas, and there appears to be no other mention of a jealous individual in the book. Jesus had everything going for him to help Judas overcome his jealousy. He was in a position of power by the choice of the apostles. They looked up to him, they relied upon him, they wished through association with him to fulfill their dreams. Most of us, in dealing with the jealous individual, are in a position of lesser power, and the jealous individual will be prone to utilize this power differential, to block any attempts at assistance by ourselves - i.e., to "do as Jesus would do."
Judas had many unfortunate personality characteristics such as a "proud and vengeful mind of exaggerated self-importance."(1567)
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