The Fellowship Forum
1993
International Conference
Congres International
CEREMONIES, RITUALS, AND CELEBRATIONS
By Dianne Matheny
The social characteristics of a true religion consist in the fact that it invariably seeks to convert the individual and to transform the world. Religion implies the existence of undiscovered ideals which far transcend the known standards of ethics and morality embodied in even the highest social usages of the most mature institutions of civilization. Religion reaches out for undiscovered ideals, unexplored realities, superhuman values, divine wisdom, and true spirit attainment. True religion does all of this; all other beliefs are not worthy of the name. You cannot have a genuine spiritual Definition religion without the supreme and supernal ideal of an eternal God. A religion without this God is an invention of man, a human institution of lifeless intellectual beliefs and meaningless emotional ceremonies. A religion might claim as the object of its devotion a great ideal. But such ideals of unreality are not attainable; such a concept is illusionary. The only ideals susceptible of human attainment are the divine realities of the infinite values resident in the spiritual fact of the eternal God (P. 1781). The ceremonies, rituals, and celebrations which are an essential component in our society represent group as well as individual expressions of our relationships to God, the universe, and one another. This being true, as our attitudes and understandings of these relationships change, so must these rituals.
Some natural evolution of ceremony does occur, but there still remains in our traditions a great deal of the outgrown, irrelevant, and primitive concepts passed down from our ancestors. We are painfully aware of the emptiness and lack of meaning in most rituals and ceremonies. It is time, especially in light of the revelation given to us through The Urantia Book, for more dramatic change in our traditions and rituals; meaning and value must be restored to them. We have a new reality which should be reflected through our individual and group expressions.
In addressing this need for change, several questions must be answered:
1. What are rituals and ceremonies?
2. What purpose do they serve?
3. Are they necessary?
4. How have our concepts (which are reflected in ritual) changed?
5. What are some guidelines for designing ceremonies, rituals, and celebrations?
It should be made clear at the outset that generally, ceremony and ritual are used almost interchangeably: "From the dawn of civilization every appealing movement in social culture or religious advancement has developed a ritual, a symbolic ceremonial" (P. 965). Some authors attempt to distinguish ritual from ceremony. Though Webster virtually uses the one to define the other, I cannot totally argue with a slight distinction between the two, however subtle. The term "ceremony" seems to carry with it a "higher" connotation. This is exemplified by its use in The Urantia Book: "...there ensue on Paradise the personalization ceremonies, participated in by the Seven Master Spirits..." (P. 204) "...they are devoted to the special ceremonies of the planet, such as: communications with the System Sovereign or with the Most Highs, special visualization ceremonies designed to reveal the personality presence of spirit beings..." (P. 622) ". . And they were all present in the beautiful temple of the Material Sons attendant upon the farewell exercises associated with the last ceremonies of the bestowal acceptance." (P. 829).
The term "ritual", though sometimes used in conjunction with ceremony, is almost exclusively reserved for human activities. It also should be noted that ritual and "cult" are often interchanged in The Urantia Book: "The early Christian cult was the most effective, appealing, and enduring of any ritual ever conceived or devised, ..." (P. 965).
There are as many different definitions for ritual as there are studies on ritual. Beck and Metrick identify ritual as, "a series of symbolic acts focused toward fulfilling a particular intention" (Beck and Metrick, P. 5). Another definition describes ritual as "behavior formally organized into repeatable patterns" (Smith, P. 51). Unfortunately, neither of these adequately provides a meaningful and yet broad enough description to encompass all ritual. These two examples only allow for the formal, conscious manifestation of ritual, but there is the other side of the coin to consider as well. Therefore, Nagendra's definition is closer to being complete: "symbolic action which can be applied in religious, social, metaphysical, or other contexts" (Nagendra, P. 1). Two words may be added to this definition to make it more thorough: symbolic patterns of action or behavior which can be applied in religious, social, metaphysical, or other contexts.
There are two major categories into which rituals may fall. One type of ritual contains behaviors which are unconsciously repeated more or less habitually. These are the types of rituals often referred to as "routines" such as the Sunday paper with coffee, the children's bath time at night, the way the dog licks your face in the morning to wake you up. Even some more formalized rituals including etiquette will also fall into this classification. Greeting an acquaintance on the street with "Hello, how are you?" is automatic and socially expected. You may not really care how that person feels at that moment, yet it is considered polite to inquire. The acquaintance will probably respond with something equally as inane such as "Fine, and how are you?" The real purpose of the exchange is to say, "I recognize you and offer you the respect of my acknowledgment." Depending on the casual nature of the acquaintance, a few more polite but meaningless thoughts and words may be completed, or the dialogue may actually deepen to a real conversation, or the acknowledgment may end quickly as each party goes about his or her business. Those rituals of a mundane nature and those considered part of etiquette are necessary elements to human life. The former add a comforting predictability to life, while the latter help to define parameters of social behavior which are universally understood and expected, thus smoothing pathways for relationships and communications
The second major category includes those rituals which are performed quite consciously and with definite purpose. These are much more formal in nature and are usually associated with some major milestone or transition in life. In the case of religious ritual, it provides "a means by which persons establish and maintain their relation to what they consider to be sacred" (Bird, P. 22). The rituals in this category are the focus of this discussion since they are the ones which are of more consequence and conscious choice.
Several authors agree with the idea that all rituals of this type deal with transition in one way or another-- even those which are religious in nature. "All rituals center around transition -- changes that have happened, are happening, or may happen (Beck and Metrick, P. 19). Beck and Metrick seem to have the most concise yet complete classification of the various types of rituals which would be included in this second grouping: beginnings, endings, cycles, mergings, and healings.
Beginnings includes such events as christenings, weddings, new job, etc. "...In rituals honoring beginnings we re-enact the beginning of the universe, the sowing of the seeds of existence" (Beck and Metrick, P. 20). This is a good example of what Joseph Campbell means when he says that "ritual is the enactment of a myth". When Campbell refers to "myth", he is referring to an archetype, the essence of an entire body of folklore, tradition, and beliefs, not just one particular story (Campbell, P. 103).
Often a beginning of one stage also marks the ending of another. In this way, the categories may overlap and blend. A funeral or memorial ceremony certainly signifies the ending of a person's physical life here on earth, but it also marks the beginning of a very different life for those who are temporarily bereft of that person's presence. In a more spiritually-minded memorial, a new beginning, for the person who has passed on should be recognized and celebrated. Through an ending ritual, "You are living the myth of separation, of the loss of union with the primal, undifferentiated One: the myth of manifestation from a sacred world of relatedness into a material world of duality, the story of the Fall from Eden" (Beck and Metrick, 1990, p. 28). For Urantia Book readers, this concept echoes the original separation of the spiritual from the physical in the manifestation of the Eternal Son and Paradise, or it could relate the original separation of potentials from actuals and then the further fragmentation of all reality.
Anniversaries are cyclical celebrations. They are recurrences of notable events such as births, deaths, marriages, as well as seasonal changes such as the solstices. They usually mark a time when emotions are strong and we can recognize the depths of our emotional roots (Beck and Metrick, 1990). "...Cyclical rituals help us to honor and understand patterns that are larger than ourselves. They can assist us in beginning to grasp the mystery of existence, the movements and rhythms of powers beyond our control .... we enact this myth of returning to the beginning of time in a conscious way. Much as a child moves from undifferentiated awareness to discrimination between self and others, we as humans have moved mythically from the original One at creation to differentiating between parts of that One (into our separate selves). As each of us becomes more independent and self-aware, we gain the ability to unite with others" (Beck and Metrick, P. 25-26).
Occurrences that happen with or without our consent are celebrated through cyclical rituals. In merging, however, we make a conscious choice for the joining to happen. Marriages, taking a temporary or permanent house mate, and even business partnerships or mergers may come under this umbrella of mergings. '"The myth we find ourselves living in merging rituals is the union of opposites, the marriage of heaven and earth, of the sacred and the mundane... It is a union that gives birth to a new whole that is, indeed, more than the sum of its parts" (Beck and Metrick, P. 23). Again, this reminds one of the constant searching, finding and re-merging of God with man and man with God, whether referring specifically to fusion or on a grander scale to the eventuation of the Supreme.
Though healing is both an effect and a purpose to many rituals within these other classifications, Beck and Metrick type it out separately while admitting that healing is pervasive in all ritual. This form of ritual is relevant any time an imbalance occurs in life. Together with a memorial service which constitutes an ending, a part of ritual may be specifically aimed at healing the pain of separation and loss. Divorce may require an ending and a healing ritual either separately or together. Rituals for healing the world and mankind's sufferings are not only needed on a grand scale, but would be effective individually. "Healing rituals offer a time for you to be fully present with the pain as well as a means to finding acceptance of it" (Beck and Metrick, P. 30).
These authors (Beck and Metrick) do not separate religious ritual as a different kind, and as a Urantia Book reader, I also hesitate to do so believing as I do that my religion is a pervasive and innate part of all I am and all I do. As Nagendra said, "Ritual is a matter of reducing all activities to their principles: sanctification of whatever is done naturally, not just doing specifically sacred things, only on particular occasions; sacrificing (making sacred) all we do and all we are" (Nagendra, P. 13). Rituals serve to facilitate orderly interactions between individuals, between the individual and God, and between the individual and himself (Smith). The Urantia Book defines and describes ritual as "the technique of sanctifying custom; ritual creates and perpetuates myths as well as contributing to the preservation of social and religious customs. Again, ritual itself has been fathered by myths. Rituals are often at first social, later becoming economic and finally acquiring the sanctity and dignity of religious ceremonial. Ritual may be personal or group in practice--or both--as illustrated by prayer, dancing, and drama" (P.
992). In summary, rituals are patterned actions or behaviors which express a relationship with God, the universe, and/or one another.
Purpose
Having now defined and classified ritual, let us now go on to the next two questions. These concern the purpose and necessity of rituals. Since the answering of one will address the other, they will be discussed concurrently. If ritual is found to have function and valuable purpose, then it would follow that it would at least be beneficial if not necessary.
"Interior worship of Almighty God, unaccompanied by or unexpressed in exterior devotion, would be at best but a partial and inadequate worship in the part of a being constituted as man is" (Stanley, P. 268). The Urantia Book clearly states that though ritual is not necessary for worship, it is quite normal and absolutely acceptable provided the ritual does not become a substitute for worship:
The cult type of social organization persisted because it provided a symbolism for the preservation and stimulation of moral sentiments and religious loyalties... Every inspiring ideal grasps for some perpetuating symbolism--seeks some technique for cultural manifestation which will insure survival and augment realization--and the cult achieves this end by fostering and gratifying emotion... From the dawn of civilization every appealing movement in social culture or religious advancement has developed a ritual, a symbolic ceremonial The more this ritual has been an unconscious growth, the stronger it has gripped its devotees. The cult preserved sentiment and satisfied emotion, but it has always been the greatest obstacle to social reconstruction and spiritual progress ... Notwithstanding that the cult has always retarded social progress, it is regrettable that so many modern believers in moral standards and spiritual ideals have no adequate symbolism--no cult of mutual support--nothing to belong to. (p. 965).
But the minds of greater spiritual illumination should be patient with, and tolerant of, those less endowed intellects that crave symbolism for the mobilization of their feeble spiritual insight. The strong must not look with disdain upon the weak. Those who are God-conscious without symbolism must not deny the grace-ministry of the symbol to those who find it difficult to worship Deity and to revere truth. beauty, and goodness without form and ritual. In prayerful worship, most mortals envision some symbol of the object-goal of their devotions (P. 999).
According to Tom Driver, there are three main functions or "gifts" as he calls them which ritual bestows upon society: order, community, and transformation (Driver, P. 131). The sense of order or pattern brings solace and continuity to relationships (social, cosmic, and spiritual). As an art teacher, I ask my students to contemplate the value of pattern in the visual world. It is everywhere. Nature uses random pattern while repeated pattern is strong in man-made environments. Eventually through discussion, we come to the conclusion that people love order as opposed to chaos. They like being able to predict pleasant surprise now and then, but generally, it takes a great deal more energy to comprehend a design which is devoid of pattern.
Ritual maintains order by marking times and spaces as well as by symbolizing realities. Its clarity, recurrence, and regulation give stability and structure to society (Rappaport). There is also a reinforced sense of security which harks back to our most primal needs. The stability of knowing what comes next, the part you must play, and knowing that the ritual changes only slightly each time it is performed is precious to humans.
Ritual not only reflects and maintains structure, but often is integral in forming that structure (Rappaport). By its very nature of ordering behaviors and expectations in a continuously repeating fashion, ritual exerts some influence over the way society grows and changes. By imitating or acting out a reality from a different plane, ritual molds a perception of that very reality. On a more mundane level, ritual may even influence systems of trade and economics. So, the sense of direction and stability given by ritual serve to maintain as well as create order.
One of the most important aspects of ritual is that it brings people together physically and then also tends to unite them emotionally (Driver). Driver calls this aspect the gift of community. Communal ritual enhances solidarity within a group by providing opportunities for individuals to collectively express their commitment to common values and beliefs (Bastien and Bromley). Group ritual results in a sense of direction and harmony which transcends any feelings of conflict, thus removing the isolation of individuals, and replacing it with a cohesive bonding. Feelings of affection and goodwill are strengthened among those participating (Driver & Bird). The state of "belonging" which was noted earlier is restored.
The communal nature of ritual provides an emotional grounding. "Ritual controls emotion while releasing it." Ritual guides the emotion while letting it run to its fall intensity (Driver, P. 156). Bird states, "They [rituals] provide spoken and embodied vocabularies for communicating and reconfirming intense feelings of respect, awe, sorrow, loyalty, tenderness and attraction, particularly in those situations where the use of discursive vocabularies tend to flatten the depth of feeling and/or stray off into thoughts unrelated to the sentiments themselves" (P. 24).
The third "gift" provided by ritual and ceremony is transition. To repeat Beck and Metrick, "All ritual centers around transition--changes that have happened, are happening, or may happen" (P. 19). Humans tend to resist change but are compelled to change anyway. Dramatic transitions in life often leave the subject feeling swept up, helpless, and out of control. Ritual and ceremony returns a sense of power and command. While organizing, planning, and participating in a ritual, "we are involved in the process of doing versus being done to" (Beck and Metrick, P. 9).
Rituals are primarily instruments designed to change a situation, and certain important transitions do not take place without ritual (Driver, 1991). A marriage does not take place without some semblance of ritual. A license does not constitute a marriage without at the very least a simple civil ceremony. A Christian baptism does not occur by simply getting wet; a ceremony in conjunction with the symbolic water must be completed. Rituals which focus on the very change taking place have been termed "rites of passage", a word coined by Arnold Van Gannep in 1908 (Driver). The ritual becomes the vehicle for a change in identity (christenings, inductions, etc.), status (graduation), role (marriage), or relationship to reality (worship, funerals). Again, any one ritual may mark a change in several areas at the same time. Usually there is some overlap, as in a funeral constituting a change in relationship to reality as well as a change in identity. An immediate efficacy is anticipated. Participants expect certain energies to be released which are otherwise inaccessible (Bird). "[Rituals] are stylized codes by means of which participants both dramatize and actualize transformations in social relations and personal consciousness" (Bird, P. 23).
It seems clear that ritual and ceremony may not be deemed "necessary" in the sense that religion is an internal experience and communion with the Father certainly does not require any outward or physical demonstration. They do, however, serve an important service for humans. They help to create social order and continuity, they link an individual's emotional, spiritual, and physical life with the community's collective experiences, and they smooth and dignify transitions which occur throughout life. Tom Driver says, "To lose ritual is to lose the way" (P. 4). If, however, rituals are to be of value and have significance in our society, they must be updated and kept relevant and meaningful.
Change: Why?
"Rituals are in fact not changeless, and the attempt to make them so violates their nature. Instruments of transformation, they are themselves transformed by the processes of which they are a part: 'To perform a ritual the same way twice is to kill it,' said Stanley Walens, 'for the ritual grows as we grow, its life recapitulates the course of ours"' (Driver, P. 185). The Urantia Book echoes this when talking about the nature of cultism, "In the past, truth has grown rapidly and expanded freely when the cult has been elastic, the symbolism expansile. Abundant truth and an adjustable cult have favored rapidity of social progression. A meaningless cult vitiates religion when it attempts to supplant philosophy and to enslave reason; a genuine cult grows" (P. 965-966). Campbell says that ritual must be kept alive, and that so much of our ritual is dead. A ritual dies when it is no longer believed to be intrinsically valuable or efficacious; it has become empty, arbitrary, and overly formal (Bird).
Traditional rituals may not speak to the individual's needs in a profound and meaningful way (Beck and Metrick). Much of our present ritual harks back to a time when man not only feared God, but sought to appease him, hide from him, or bargain with him. These are concepts with which we as Urantia Book readers cannot relate:
Your forebears feared God because he was mighty and mysterious. You shall adore him because he is magnificent in love, plenteous in mercy, and glorious in truth. The power of God engenders fear in the heart of man, but the nobility and righteousness of his personality beget reverence, love, and willing worship. A dutiful and affectionate son does not fear or dread even a mighty and noble father. I have come into the world to put love in the place of fear, joy in the place of sorrow, confidence in the place of dread, loving service and appreciative worship in the place of slavish bondage and meaningless ceremonies. But it is still true of those who sit in darkness that 'the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.' But when the light has more fully come, the sons of God are led to praise the Infinite for what he is rather than to fear him for what he does (P. 1675).
Jesus swept away all of the ceremonials of sacrifice and atonement. He destroyed the basis of all this fictitious guilt and sense of isolation in the universe by declaring that man is a child of God; the creature- Creator relationship was placed on a child-parent basis. God becomes a loving Father to his mortal sons and daughters. All ceremonials not a legitimate part of such an intimate family relationship are forever abrogated (P.1133).
These quotes illustrate the change that is occurring and must occur in the minds of man. As God is our Father and not just our King, we need to bring him in more intimately to our lives, rather than keeping him at a formal distance. We, as receivers of the revelation, have changed our understandings and relationships to God, and so we must change our outward as well as inward demonstrations of that new understanding. This should be done not only to be true and in harmony with our own new reality, but also to provide a model for our brothers and sisters who have not yet been enlightened. We, as receivers of this good news, are no longer mere disciples, we are apostles, and as such have a responsibility to be the best that we can be at all times. We need to reflect in our ceremonies not only our newly found present status as children of God, but also our potential in the future: "You are sons of God, it has not been revealed what you shall be" (1 John 3:2). We have to set the example and plant the positive seeds which will be nurtured by the Spirit and grow.
Change: How?
It is clear that if we are to employ rituals, they must change. There are two major ways in which rituals can change: how they are performed and what is used in the performance. Put more succinctly, participation and symbolism.
The shaman invokes; the priest represents. These differences are not absolute but are strong tendencies within the two types. Revitalization of religious ritual in Westernized societies today would require overcoming the dominance of the priestly type by moving again toward the shamanic. This in turn means to set free the performative power of ritual which is corseted by liturgical rigidities, many of them cherished by conservative communities precisely because they keep the performative and transformative power of ritual under wraps (Driver, P. 75).
In our distant past, the ritual was not only an activity led by the shaman, but it was one in which the whole group participated. It was a communal experience. The shaman organized, led, and had a primary role, but the assembly actually performed the ritual. The word "perform" implies doing and being observed doing. One performs a ritual; one does not merely watch a ritual (Driver). It is in the performance of ritual that transition takes place. Watching a ritual does virtually nothing to the observer, it is only when a person participates and joins the community in this group expression, that the real magic occurs. Our society has relegated participation to neat rows of chairs, pews, and whispers. An "ordained" pastor or priest is usually the only one doing anything of significance in the ceremony. It is also through participation that the empowerment occurs. Ritual can be a way of taking back control of our lives away from "fate". Instead of having life done to you, you are acknowledging and contributing to the natural changes that inevitably will occur. But, again in our modern Western society, the average person is not considered capable of understanding the vast metaphysical transitions that come to pass nor the deeper, more spiritual associations of those changes, so therefore, we must have a mediator, an interpreter, a priest:
The priests have always sought to impress and awe the common people by conducting the religious ritual in an ancient tongue and by sundry magical passes so to mystify the worshipers as to enhance their own piety and authority. The great danger in all this is that the ritual tends to become a substitute for religion (P. 992).
I was recently married. My husband and I were determined to have our ceremony be relevant and meaningful to us as the primary participants as well as to those who came to celebrate with us. We designed every bit of the wedding ritual itself, even to what was said by the minister, as well as the reception following. We made sure that the person we chose to lead the ritual understood that we were in charge, not the "church", nor she, the minister. Toward this end we selected a minister who was aware and tolerant of the revelation's teaching’s.
To increase a feeling of involvement for the guests, a semicircular arrangement of chairs surrounded the area where most of the action would take place. There was an occasion in the ceremony in which the community as a whole was asked to acknowledge and uphold the union, and the group as a whole responded with "we will". This is in contrast to traditional ceremonies in which the congregation is merely a witness and has no verification rights. We also reinforced our belonging and contribution to the community when we served cake to our guests after cutting it at the reception. Though it was a little disconcerting at first, the guests seemed to take in stride after all of the other modifications in the celebration,
At the beginning of the ritual, our families escorted us each from a different direction toward the center. Our fathers introduced themselves and then our mothers who in turn introduced our siblings, us, and our attendants (we each had only one).
This simple change from the traditional father escorting and then giving away the bride denotes a major shift from past conditions. Daughters are no longer the possession of the fathers. It also acknowledges the significant influence of the entire family in the molding of the person getting married. It obviously makes of the family participants in the ritual as well, so that the marriage has meaning for them in some facet of their lives. In addition to these things, we also increased our own personal involvement by publicly thanking all who contributed such as musicians, minister, attendants, etc., and then inviting the guests to continue the celebration at the reception. The very fact that we arranged and designed the entire event enhanced our own experience of it. Though it was stressful, there was an immediacy and a personal meaning to the ritual and celebration which is often lacking for those who are less involved. We designed all our own symbols and wrote our own vows which we read to each other so that everyone could hear. So many times in the traditional wedding ritual, the congregation can barely hear the subjects speak the vows which they, the congregation, are supposed to witness. Of course, the couple is repeating after the priest who has decided just what those vows will be. The vows that we wrote were ones which we decided on together. We studied everything that The Urantia Book said on marriage and then discussed what we each expected of the other and of ourselves in this union. From that discussion, we came to agreement on the concepts and then the wording for our vows. We have ownership of those vows, and thus they are much more binding than any which would have been dictated to us.
Along with change in participation in rituals, a change in symbolism is desperately needed. Symbols are vehicles that allow us to express what is difficult to verbalize or that which loses proportion in verbalization. "The symbol and the symbolic act that imply something greater provide the means to know or to be something greater than oneself--to move from the secular toward the sacred" (Beck and Metrick, P. 15).
We do not understand much of what we do or why, and if we did, we would probably be appalled. So much of the symbolism which is still observed today is dated from primitive times. The lighting of candles at mass, weddings, funerals, etc. all stems from the old belief that fire could keep evil spirits at bay. The throwing of a bouquet at the wedding signifies an overt superstition stating; that the unmarried female who catches it will be next to be married. Even the throwing of rice on the newly married couple was believed to promote fertility. So much that we do is done simply because "that's the way its always been done", as if that very fact makes it sacred. Some of us may even have an understanding of the futility of so many rites and actions but choose to smilingly tolerate them as quaint or romantic.
The funeral ritual is absolutely abusive to the family as well as the memory of the loved one lost. The viewing of the body is a crude custom which discomfits most people but is still upheld through "tradition". We know that the body is merely a used shell which should be respectfully but quickly put away. The spirit and personality which are that person are no longer associated with that physical form. At the memorial, again usually a priest or "representative of God" does most of the speaking (whether or not he even knew the deceased). Quiet, somber music and hushed whispers pervade the atmosphere and seem to actually fear the waking of the dead. These events are trying not only for the close family but for everyone who witnesses it. I stress the word witness, for here again, few people in the community actually participate in any of the symbolism.
In the wedding that was described earlier, we carefully chose the symbols that we used (refer to appendix). Here should be stressed the old adage about throwing out the baby with the bath water. There is no use in changing something just for the sake of changing. If there is some symbolism in traditional ceremony which still has meaning today and does not conflict with our newer understanding of the Father, then there is no need to alter it. Part of the value of ritual is its repetitiveness and continuity. The circle being especially significant to Urantia readers together with the fact that I like jewelry, made rings an acceptable symbol to use. We discussed the ideas of infinity, the return of God's love through loving each other and our universal family, and eternity, and even the significance of an outward sign of our marriage. We found that we liked the idea and had no moral or philosophical problems with rings.
Symbols may be archetypal and speak to the "collective unconscious" which Carl Jung spoke about, or they can be very personal and innovative, but for them to have the "maid' of transformation in ritual, they must be comprehended by all. If the people who are principally involved with a ritual are the only ones who understand the symbolism, then here again, the communal aspect of ritual is denied. This is why we printed up a program that was given to each guest. In this program, the order of events was laid out, and alongside each event was an explanation of its significance. Even simple elements such as flowers and music were explained as representing the beauty and joy of God's presence. We served each other wine in the ceremony: "symbolizing respect for the individual, each party offers wine to the other indicating a readiness to share in the rewards as well as the difficulties of marriage. A willingness to accept differences of the individual is represented by the serving of red and white wines" (I served him red and he served me white). We also served each others parents and attendants "as an expression of eagerness to serve the family and community." We signed the marriage contract there in the ceremony "signifying respect for civil society and agreement between two mature, responsible persons." This part of the ceremony along with much of what was said by the minister stressed the fact that marriage is a "human institution", not one ordained or sanctified by God.
Participation and symbolism were the two elements of our ceremony that we focused on altering. The results were spectacular. Many people, both Urantia Book readers and non-Urantia Book readers alike, commented on the originality and symbolism included. We kept those traditions that had meaning for us, and left behind those that were outdated, superstitious, or frivolous. We did not throw any bouquets, garters, or rice. We stressed service, commitment, and spiritual growth. The whole ceremony and celebration was meaningful and reverent, but not unduly solemn; there was a playful and joyous air about the whole experience.
Conclusion
Though ritual may not be deemed necessary in our recognition and worship of the Father, it is a part of our natures as humans to create patterns. Rituals can be beneficial in helping to order society, unite us with community, and smooth transitions in our lives. They provide a grounding and a sense of continuity in a sometimes turbulent journey through this life. They furnish an opportunity for group expression as well as worship. As mankind has evolved, the way he perceives himself and his God have changed. This is as it should be, for our destination is always changing and ever growing. In modifying our rituals, we must not lose sight of our goals and our future. In crossing the mountains, we need to be careful not to get lost in the valleys which go before and after each mountain. Always, we must keep sight of the range in the distance. We must always remember: we are now sons of God, it has not been revealed what we shall be.
In instituting this remembrance supper, the Master, as was always his habit, resorted to parables and symbols. He employed symbols Because he wanted to teach certain great spiritual truths in such a manner as to make it difficult for his successors to attach precise interpretations and definite meanings to his words. In this way he sought to prevent successive generations from crystallizing his teaching and binding down his spiritual meanings by the dead chains of tradition and dogma. In the establishment of the only ceremony or sacrament associated with his whole life mission, Jesus took great pains to suggest his meanings rather than to commit himself to precise definitions. He did not wish to destroy the individual's concept of divine communion by establishing a precise form; neither did he desire to limit the believer's spiritual imagination by formally cramping it. He rather sought to set man's reborn soul free upon the joyous wings of a new and living spiritual liberty (P. 1942).
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