The Supreme Potential of the Family

Janet Farrington

Introduction

For most of us growing up in Western Civilization, even though we were active and knowledgeable church members, the discovery of The Urantia Book opened a new and exciting vista of Reality. In addition to the centrality of the Trinity, The Urantia Book describes Absolutes of potentiality and an evolutionary aspect of Deity, called God the Supreme. The Supreme grows as the personalities in the evolving universes attain Godlikeness. This developing factualization of Deity is very close to Deity concepts in the writings of Jung, Teilhard de Chardin, and Whitehead. The Supreme is that evolutionary aspect of Deity in which we "live and move and have our being." "God the Supreme is the cosmic womb in which finite potential grows, the Universe Mother of the evolving finite creation. The Supreme is the realm of the actual and the potential. . ." "The great struggle of this universe age is between the potential and the actual -- the seeking for actualization by all that is as yet unexpressed." (U. B. p. 1284)

The Challenge of Parenthood

As I was pondering the potential and actual aspects of the evolution of the Supreme one day, and folding yet another basket of laundry for my active family of five, I suddenly had an Aha! experience regarding the nature of the Supreme. I was folding a sock that my baby Hannah loves to pull off her tiny feet and chew, and I was thinking about how her socks would gain in size over the years as her feet grew. Larger and larger would they become until suddenly they would rival my own and then, when my baby reaches womanhood, her socks and not-so-tiny shirts would no longer fill my basket. I realized that each little Hannah-sock reflects the potential that my daughter will someday grow large enough to actually do her own laundry.

I picked up my sons little league tee-shirt and imagined how small it would look next to the high school jersey he might some day toss into the basket. I thought of all the tee-shirts I would surely fold as he journeys on towards manhood; that with each folding, yet another aspect of his potential would be unfolding, and would someday be actualized; that, he too, will someday do his own laundry.

As I picked up each little dress and pair of worn jeans, I tried to burn into memory the experience of holding an actual moment of my life with each child, as symbolized by these soon-to-be-outgrown clothes. And then as I held this moment, I scanned across the potential that awaits us and imagined a much older woman looking back and remembering, that her half-empty basket used to hold so much that has now been actualized and is held within the sweet embrace of the Supreme. In that moment I set a new personal standard for cosmic laundry folding.

My Aha! experience was the result of discovering that as a parent I hold both potential and actual in my hands, just as does the Universal Mother, the Supreme Being. There is no arena of living that reflects the great struggle between the actual and the potential better than family life. When I think of the challenge human parents face when they struggle to help actualize the potential of their children, I become awestruck by the incredible responsibility with which the Father entrusts us. With the birth of a child two great"potentials" spring into existence. One is the simultaneous birth of a family, either new or newly configured. Another is the evolution of a cosmic citizen, which depends greatly on the potential realized within the family. The potential of the human family is to emulate the living and supportive relationships of the divine family--the kingdom of God.

The Paradise Father realizes that in order for his mortal children to achieve their spiritual destiny and contribute to the future of the Supreme, they need to feel his presence. And, therefore, the Father sends his Spirit, the Adjuster, to indwell each of us as a friend, a guide and a loving parent. The Adjuster provides a constant and loving presence of the Paradise Father and reflects the universe model for family life--loving parents raising cosmic citizens through their wise and constant presence.

Human parents have complete responsibility for this role in the lives of their young children prior to the coming of the Adjuster. I believe this is why the first, formative years are so important. It falls upon the shoulders of human parents to give not just a part, but the whole of their presence. And it is not time alone that we speak of. Just as the still small voice of the Spirit of God is always present and ready to help, so human parents should always be available and supportive of children, saying to each of them and every day of their challenging life,"you are loved, and we are with you." If all children in our society could depend upon this level of parental presence from both their parents, whether they lived with them or not, the need for mercy on our streets would greatly diminish.

Without this presence, without a constant, loving parental presence, children of God will not evolve their full potential. And for this reason, family life provides the most important foundation upon which human destiny is attained and Deity realization of the Supreme is achieved.

To the extent that we do the will of God in whatever universe station we may have our existence, in that measure the almighty potential of the Supreme becomes one step more actual. (U. B. p. 1278)

The Family as a Microcosm of the Supreme

Human destiny originates and is actualized within the framework of the family throughout our universe career. Like an ever expanding circle, the family reaches beyond the original few to encompass an ever increasing number of people with whom we work and live. And as our consciousness expands, so does our realization of family. We move from an original definition of our human family towards a global and finally a cosmic definition. There is never a time in the whole of our universe career that we do not define our existence on some level in terms of family.

The human family is the first training ground for cosmic citizenship. It is within this first family that we begin to understand the gift of free will. From the earliest states of human consciousness, the evolving child struggles to exercise free will. Every milestone in the childs development is related to how the child expresses free will. Initially, the child is exposed to the limits within which free will can be exercised. Eventually, step-by-step, the child, if given the chance, will learn to exercise free will in a way that leads to progress.

The human family is a microcosm of the Supreme. The evolution of the family is dependent on the realization of potential by each of its members. Step-by-step, the family evolves as the individuals evolve. Every interaction between individuals in the family serves to either contribute to the growth of the whole family or to inhibit that growth. And when the growth of the family is inhibited, the growth of the individuals within that family also suffers.

I believe we need to expand the definition of the human family. What first comes to mind when family is discussed is mom, dad, and the kids. This is a limited perception. Mom, dad, and the kids is only one configuration of a family. The concept of the family needs to be defined in a way that recognizes the creative and supportive potentials of all possible arrangements of human beings who live in close relationship to one another; who share with each other their constant and loving presence; who strive to understand their responsibility to all Gods children.

The child resides within the Supreme, within the family of humanity, and within a specific human family simultaneously. But it is within the primary human family that a child first learns what it means to be dependent on and responsible for others--brother/sisterhood. It is within the human family that a child first experiences the love of parents--mother/fatherhood. The responsibility for teaching loving relationships is a challenging task for parents who may be overworked, undertrained, and struggling. The job of teaching our young brothers and sisters how to develop their minds, hearts, and souls is such an important task that it falls upon all shoulders in the cosmic family. This is Supreme work!

The child represents a nearly limitless potential for Supremacy. The child who grows in the loving embrace of an extended human family experiences the kinship of humanity during the critical formative years. Service becomes a natural extension of love for others. The child who is parented as a child of God by a loving family grows secure in an experiential faith in the Father/Motherhood of God. Outreach becomes a natural extension of Gods love.

Man can discover the Father in his heart, but he will have to search for the Supreme in the hearts of all other men; and when all creatures perfectly reveal the love of the Supreme, then will he become a universe actuality to all creatures. (U. B. p. 1290)

A Philosophy of Family

Many people of our society have pointed to the need for better child training. We will achieve better child training not by means of a specific theology or methodology for children but through an improved broad philosophy of family. It is not a program to separate and educate children that will support the family, but a process to incorporate and illuminate all family members. We need to recognize the desperate need for the extended family in our community and society as a whole. We need to understand the potential reach of family beyond mother, father, and the kids, to encompass elders, mentors, and friends. We need to share our presence with each other as members of a loving extended family.

We need elders to sit with attentive children at their knees and share stories filled with wisdom and love. We need mentors to walk side-by-side with adolescents as they prepare for entry into the world of adults by defining values and discovering goals. We need friends to stand with parents in times of need, to offer support and sustenance as we all strive to raise children with kindness and love. We need to feel each others presence; to touch each others inner spirits.

The Supreme is the beauty of physical harmony, the truth of intellectual meaning and the goodness of spiritual value. He is the sweetness of true success and the joy of everlasting achievement. (U. B. p. 1278)

A comprehensive philosophy of family would recognize the separate, simultaneous, and Supreme realities of family life. We each belong to an original family, a primary family, an extended family, a global family, and a divine family. Each new expression of family builds upon all former expressions and encompasses all that a child of God has discovered about loving relationships.

An insightful philosophy of family would recognize that the human family is a microcosm of the Supreme, and provides a forum for the expression of the spiritual realities that actualize the Supreme. It is in relationship with others that we discover spiritual truth; it is the discovery and expression of spiritual truth that evolves the Supreme.

A spiritual philosophy of family would recognize that human relationships offer both a divine and daunting challenge. Within the family, in every relationship, we struggle to love each other as we know our Paradise Father loves us. We struggle for the patience to allow unique expression to individual free will, when what we really crave is conformity and obedience. We struggle to ask questions when our instinct and training is to issue commands. We strive to embrace those with whom we disagree and stand with patience and love in the face of adversity, when the way of the world is to throw stones. We carve out of potential the actuality of the Supreme when we push ourselves beyond our personal limits and find forgiveness and love for others. We evolve as the Supreme evolves, struggling for Deity expression in the experiential reality of finite existence.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the currency of evolution. Without forgiveness our relationships with each other would deteriorate; without forgiveness we could not move forward. Our struggle for progress is dependent on feeling the need for change. That need is often born of conflict and pain. Without forgiveness the emerging child of God would be continuously burdened by the mistakes of the evolving child of humanity. We must forgive ourselves by exercising faith and forgive each other by expressing love. We must gather unto ourselves great stores of loving forgiveness and spend liberally.

We must forgive the mistakes of our parents, just as we hope to be forgiven by our children. This does not mean forget. This does not mean ignore. We cannot hope to progress without understanding those forces that have brought us to the crossroads of our lives as parents and children. In those moments when we feel the urge to repeat the mistakes we suffered in our childhood, we need to forgive--our parents, ourselves, our children. And in that moment of forgiveness the Supreme evolves, the family evolves, and the kinship of humanity progresses one step beyond what it was a moment before. In that moment of forgiveness the reality of God is reflected in the life of a human child.

We must forgive the mistakes of our brothers and sisters, just as we hope to be forgiven by them. This does not mean we should ignore evil. This does not mean we should overlook injustice. We cannot hope to progress without a wise examination of the decisions and actions that shape our world, and we cannot hope to progress without a gentle response. The urge to criticize others is often stronger than the desire to forgive and encourage resolution; yet a continuing conflict does very little to evolve the Supreme. The lack of forgiveness and resolution retards evolution just as much as the more obvious forms of evil and injustice:"The fruits of the spirit are the substance of the Supreme as he is realizable in human experience." (U. B. p. 1290)

The Supreme does not evolve as a result of the success, power, prestige or position acquired by an individual. The Supreme evolves as a result of the loving relationships actualized between individuals. And these relationships are dependent on forgiveness, tact, tolerance, encouragement, and kindness. There is no limit to the power of love; if it motivates all behavior, it can bear all response. This is especially true in the family. There is no better way to teach children respect, than to treat them with respect. There is no better way to reveal the existence of God than to reflect Gods love.

If forgiveness is the currency of evolution, then the family is the bank of the Supreme. The interest that is accumulated as a result of forgiveness and love in the family grows exponentially throughout eternity. Children who are forgiven their faults in their original family learn to forgive their own children in their primary family. People who are forgiven their mistakes in the extended family, learn to forgive all their brothers and sisters in the global family. These human investments have spiritual value. These are the dividends that evolve the Supreme.

When you find the Father, you will find the great cause of your spiritual ascent in the universes; when you find the Supreme, you will discover the great result of your career of Paradise progression. (U. B. p. 1291)

The Father is the cause, the Supreme is the result. I believe the family is the way: The way to integrate spiritual values with social progress; the way to initiate Father/Motherhood and invest in brother/sisterhood; the way to realize the cosmic value of finite experience as a child of God in the family of humanity. The family can provide a safe haven, a loving embrace, a place to turn to when living gets hard.

The family of Urantia Book readers is an extended family inspired by a larger vision of Reality and an enhanced appreciation of the interrelatedness of all people. We are a committed and diverse family of readers who support each other in times of need and share with each other the bountiful harvest of the fruits of the spirit. Inspired and empowered by this new revelation of truth, we are dedicated to the expansion of interfaith boundaries. We strive to offer something of Supreme value to our spiritually hungry brothers and sisters of all faiths throughout the world: A spiritual philosophy that promotes family living as a tool for cosmic growth; a philosophy of living that truly helps the child of God grow within the family of humanity. This, after all, is the stuff of which the Supreme is made. This, my brothers and sisters, is the Supreme potential of the family.